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“The Write’s Tough,” by Michael Price
I think I may have a problem. I first got an inkling while proofing my last short story, “Life with Shoe Polish,” which, sadly, isn’t as good as it sounds. As a supposed man of words, the interminable...
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“Earnest, the Chicken-Headed Penis Boy,” by Ao-Hui Lin
Earnest was in kindergarten when Jackie the Janitor got fired for “choking the chicken” in the girls’ bathroom. That phrase, along with his best friend Bradley Watson’s accompanying hand gestures,...
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“Aesop’s 11,” by Alexei Kalinchuk
Bears stole our garbage at the cabin that year. One bear in particular, recruited others from the wilds, from circuses and from zoos. This was the last big score, or so he promised. “So this is your...
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“Ninja Assassin Death Robot Apocalypse,” by Miranda Ciccone
Unit X-397 said, “Yeah, but this doesn’t fit the standard pattern at all. I don’t even know if you can legitimately categorize it as an apocalypse.” The mid-45th-century repurposed sex-bot waved one...
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“How Many Four Year Olds Do You Think You Could Take In a Fight?” by Ian Couch
Nobody ever told me why the scientists decided to answer the question, but they must have cleared out every orphanage in the country to do it. The first hour of the experiment was the toughest. Kids...
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Two Poems by Bradley K. Meyer
Red Etiquette The ketchup on my table knows its Emily Post- It’s a real compliment of a condiment & Fancy, fancy, fancy. To the Prankster Walking behind two Wright State students, One says: -Did...
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“Boomers Gone Wild,” by Barbara Lee
recently, at dinner with friends someone said that we should all drop acid together just for a single night give up being in control and live purely in the moment looking at each other, we said, we’re...
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“R.I.P.” by Art Heifetz
he went peacefully in the early hours succumbing to erectile dysfunction his final request was a last sponge bath from the attractive nurse some of the mourners whispered that the illness was...
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“When The New York Times Embraces The Lunatic Fringe,” by Tony Peyser
Maybe this reporter is competent and only Momentarily seemed like a dumb hack In this style piece that breathlessly declared That bangs are now making a comeback. I don’t mean to weigh in here &...
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Two Poems by April Salzano
An Editor Gave My Poem Blue Balls Thank you for submitting your work. Though I am going to pass on this batch, your poem “insert title here” came close. Huh? I immediately think of coming. Then I...
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